new calamity

OK, we have cigarettes and liquor* but now we also have futon sores. Which are kind of like bed sores but way cooler, in a way hipsters would probably enjoy. But still unpleasant. So, please send ointment. And quickly. They are beginning to fester.

* wine product, whatever that means. We tried putting that on our futon sores but it didn't really help. Maybe anti-itch cream? Nutella? But then I'd be tempted to lick it off, which is just gross, so seriously, send ointment.

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