2.27.2009

year

It's been a LONG year.

For better or for worse, I feel like I've been using it to make up for a lot of lost time. Maybe just misplaced time?

It hasn't been uniformly intense. Mostly, it's come in flashes of intensity. That's enough. Sometimes, more than enough.

It's been a slow rain of puzzle pieces clicking so gently into place, that I sometimes hardly even notice until weeks later.

There's been a lot of redefining, reprioritizing and rethinking. And it isn't done, not by a long shot. But there's been a journey. Maybe only a few steps worth of one - but it's something.

Maybe all we need is to WANT something. Anything, however impossible it is. Because when you want something, REALLY want it, you will want it badly enough to WORK for it, to do battle for it. And even if you don't get it in the end - you will find that you've still come out better for having done all of that. Better prepared to make your next choice, and to pursue it. Stronger, smarter. Better for having fought; not worse for losing.

The history of disappointments is the cartography of the heart. The cracks make the map.

Better to limp along a guided path than to sprint nowhere.

I'm still mapping mine. Even as I limp along.

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